I'm tired.

No, not on the outside.
On the inside.

I'm tired, cause.
I just realised a few days back,
how life makes a fool of us.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Say guys..
Or rather,
our "family".

Remember how it came about?
After all that drama, yeah.
And well.. For some reason,
that drama might have been a good thing.
For bringing us together, you know?

But well.
Remembering the past,
it still seems suspicious, no matter how I look at it.
And I'm sure you guys will agree.

But.
I talked to Hafiz recently.
You know, that duck.
Yeah, and, for some reason,
I found out Lia has a Facebook account,
and she appeared in my suggestions list.
And well, I know, I know!
I'm using her name again!
But it doesn't mean that,
I've completely forgiven her.
It's complicated.

Well anyway, I talked to Hafiz bout it.
And then, for some unknown reason..
I asked him whether what she said was true or not.
And he told me, "Yes."
And well..
In the past, I wouldn't have believed him.
But now..
He's sorta left Kyutes, you know?
And he doesn't talk much to Lia anymore.
Not at all, in fact.
So, I have reason to believe him, right?

Well, I asked him why it's true.
He told me he met her, in KK Hospital.
And a lot of stuffs.
I felt.. guilty.

I know you guys will think I've gone mad,
or someone has kidnapped me,
or an alien has landed on my backyard and changed me.
But.
Deep down.
I bet we all know that.
There may be a possibility that.
Lia never lied.
It was just us in the first place.

And then, Hafiz said something which,
will haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Put yourself in her shoes, if you were hated by everybody, and you did nothing wrong, how would YOU feel?"

Honestly.
I will feel.
Like it's gonna be the end of the world.
Of the entire galaxy.
And imagine.
If Lia REALLY didn't lie. (And I said 'if'.)
Well, imagine,
the pain we caused her.

I'm not saying that,
I'd still be as close with her as last time,
and neither will the rest of us.
But.
At the very least.
If we were wrong.
I want to apologize.

I need to apologize.
And I have to.

This has been haunting me ever since that incident.
Which is, around 2 years?
It's been a burden.
And whenever I see stuff I used to relate to her.
Damn, it ruins my entire mood.

Which is what happened today.
Honestly..
It's time to get it off.
Probably the rest of you have already let it go,
with the ending as, "Lia is the liar. We're just victims of hers."
And I know most of you has.
Because you've realised, we've all stopped hating what we used to hate.
But, I can't put it down.
Especially not after this.

I think it's time to start thinking back.

Did she really lie to us?
Or was it just us all along?

Maybe, you guys are gonna tell me off.
But..
There's always been a hole there, in my heart.
And I know that sounds corny, but honestly, that's what it is.

And I realised, to repair that hole..
I need to fill it in with a closure.
A closure that's not hate, and no proper "the truth".
I need a closure that ends with an apology.
I know it's childish.

I used to think that, she should be the one who owes me an apology.
But you know what?

Maybe we're the ones who owe her an apology after all.